


TMNT: Cherry Blossoms of Life

by Yashiroreaper



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:09:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25444450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yashiroreaper/pseuds/Yashiroreaper
Summary: Raphael has a tragic past, one that he hides behind his gruff and angry persona. But beneath he is scared looking out at the world that he learned to fear. This story follows him as his past is suddenly brought out after he is turned into a younger version of himself. Can he work through it and learn to be himself.This a weird little passion project of mine more than normal. I wrote the original version of this fanfiction back in 2011 when I was an angsty teen. I year or so ago I decided to reread some of my old work and this one sparked something. I realised I could have went somewhere really interesting with the idea and concepts. So I decided to write a new version in my spare time, but now I think I am ready to share it. So here it is I will update it once a month. Thanks for reading as always!
Relationships: Casey Jones/April O'Neil (TMNT), Donatello/Leonardo (TMNT)
Kudos: 6





	1. A Blast from the Past

TMNT: Cherry Blossoms of Life

Ch.1~ A blast from the past

I raced across the rooftops, a grin on my face and a wild energy in my strides and leaps. Each step I took made my soul soar, this really was my time. I let a cheerful cry as I left to the next building, landing I raced to jump over the edge swinging off clotheslines as I landed down into a dark alley. Sneaking I peeked out onto the quieter city streets, as the nightlife of the city thrived.

Sneaking back into the alley I looked from a quick way back to the roofs, but I could see a shadowy mass making its way down to me. I pulled my sais from my belt and posed ready to fight. One dropped on me but I roundhouse kicked him into the dumpster. Another ran at me and I caught his sword in my sai and swept a foot under him dropping him before quickly punching him in the face.

Seems like Karai's lackeys need more training, chuckling a bit I quickly spun to clock the quietest one yet, that had been sneaking behind me. Looking around at the bodies surrounding me I couldn't help myself filling with pride. I went to chuckle again but one jumped onto me driving me into the concrete, groaning I felt another two land on top me, holding me down.

'Man, I wish I had brought Casey along, a bit of backup would be nice right around now.' I thought, I felt a prick on my upper arm.

With that I could feel something enter my shoulder numbing it, they all jumped off, as I jumped to my feet. Looking up I saw they were all gone, groaning I grabbed my fallen sais and headed for the lair. Need to get Don to take a look at this, have no idea what these punks did to me.

As I neared the lair my vision began to blur, and my body felt heavier. I found myself leaning heavily on walls for support till my legs finally gave out and I collapsed, I tried to get back up but the world around me began to spin. Fuck, I am never gonna hear the end of this one.

(Don's POV)

We all gather at the table as Mikey made breakfast humming a song happily, everyone was up except Raph. Typical, he always made it a habit, whenever he could, to stay out as late as possible. Sighing I turned to see Leo and Splinter leaving the dojo, Leo smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Raph still not awake?" He asked I shook my head.

"I shall go wake him up, he is starting to make a bad habit of sleeping the day away." Splinter said the clunk of his cane as he left slowly faded as Leo sat next to me.

"I'm making scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon!" Mikey cheered, at least the food would cheer up Raph's mood after being woken up.

"Sounds good Mikey." I hummed, I heard a door slam open followed by a gasp.

"My sons!" Splinter yelled, Leo and I ran up to Raph's room as Mikey tried to hurriedly plate our food.

As we reached the stairs, I could see that Raph's room was empty, Leo seemed frozen as I reached for my shell cell dialling his number. The phone rang as I began to pace in worry, Leo was calling Mikey to join us in searching as I got his answering machine. Sighing I began to use the built-in tracker to find Raph.

"Leo, calm down, remember he has his shell cell, I can track him, he might have just crashed at Casey's or something." I soothed, as we all met in the main area as I locked onto his location. "Come on follow me, he's not too far off, he probably is just heading home after crashing at Casey's."

We all followed the signal out of the lair and through the tunnels, he wasn't that far, but he didn't seem to be moving. Weird, Raph usually hauls tail if he is this late coming home. I heard Mikey squeal and Leo gasp, I looked at them and followed their gaze to the water. I saw the red mixed into the sewer water. I raced around the corner and followed the signal till I reached its source. I saw his phone laying on the ground and Raph laying sprawled in the tunnel.

He was much smaller, about the size of a six or seven-year-old and all his gear lay around him or loosely hanging off of his frame. But his whole body was covered in blood, luckily not enough to be deadly but certainly worrying. Instinctively I pulled him into my arms and began to examine him, his mask slipped off and onto the ground as he moaned in pain his face contorting into a grimace.

"We need to get him home, he's hurt, gather his stuff, there's no time to explain," I ordered, with that I took off down the tunnel leaving behind Leo and Mikey to gather his gear and phone.

Reaching home, I watched father look at me in shock as I brought Raph to my lab. Clearing off a table of notes in one clear sweep I laid him down. Going to my med kit I grabbed a clean rag and dosed it in disinfectant and began to clean him of the blood revealing all too familiar wounds. His face cringed, and he awoke with a scream, it was shrill, and his eyes filled with tears much like a child.

"It hurts!" he cried father went to his side touching his head soothingly.

"Hush my son, it's okay, you are home, you're safe Raphael." He hushed, he opened his eyes to look at father tears falling down his face.

"Daddy…" he muttered, I gently continued to clean his wounds, but the worst were over as he gritted and bared his teeth the pain.

"Raph, can you sit up, so I check the rest of you?" I asked he looked to me his eyes widening in shock.

Sitting up with some effort, he reached toward me clearly confused, once he touched me comparing his hand to my face. Pulling away he looked at father than around the lair, he looked very lost. Finally, he turned to the commotion and the front door that Leo and Mikey just arrived through. He reached out to them and let out a small sob.

"Weo! Mikey!" he cried, Leo looked at him in shock as Mikey looked on confused as Raph was.

"My son, it's alright, tell me what's the last thing you remember?" Father asked he turned to father.

"I was.. fighting.. some foot ninja's.. and they put something into my arm…" he explained, he looked at his arms covered in familiar wounds. "But, it feews like I… but it's been ten years… right?"

"Whatever happened Raph, we'll find a way to fix you, it'll be okay, now let's get you bandaged up," I stated, he turned to me a look of horror on his face.

"They're really there again, but I don't understand…" he muttered, I reached for some gauze and began to wrap up his wounds. "Am I really a wittle twerp again!"

"Raph, it'll be okay, just calm down and breathe." I hushed as I finished bandaging his arms up and began on his other arm.

"Raph, don't worry we will find a way to get you back to normal." Leo hushed, he looked at Leo emotionally confused, his two personalities from back then and now must be struggling for power.

"I, you… Fuck off fearwess! I.. I… Ugh stupid, kid me, we're seventeen, stop being so scared…" he hissed, I motioned Mikey who led Leo out as I finished bandaging his arms and looked at his legs grabbing more gauze.

"Remember your exercises, my son." Splinter reminded, Raph retreated into himself and began to steady his breathing I continued to wrap up his wounds.

"It's okay, we're okay, no need to worry." He muttered I remember Splinter teaching him these methods after he returned all those years ago.

"Come on let's try this, can you tell me the date, and your age and where you are?" Splinter asked Raph seemed to be in thought as I moved to his other leg.

"It's umm. September tenth, two thousand and seven, I'm seventeen and I'm at the wair, the new one." He answered he seemed to be getting a hold of everything and he was visibly calming down.

"Very good Raphael, now tell me what you are feeling?" father continued.

"Scared, and confused, everything feews so wrong, this change, it's bothering me, it brings up too many memories," Raph explained, he looked to me as I finished bandaging. "Thank you.. this feews a wot better…" he continued, his voice reminded me of our younger years along with his demeanour.

"No problem, umm, Mikey made some breakfast, you must be hungry?" I offered, he nodded and looked over the edge of the table warily.

"Might need hewp down…" he muttered embarrassed, I nodded and picked him up, setting him on his feet waiting a minute for him to get his bearings. "I'm okay now, just a bit weird."

"Alright, let's go then," I said, he nodded and followed me and father staying closer to father than me. Using him for balance when he felt weak trying his best to hide that from me.

Mikey was microwaving our food humming as Leo sat at the table looking at us sadly. Raph met his gaze and hide behind father, clearly unsure how to react around Leo in his new form. Father patted his head and lead him to Mikey where they grabbed the first two plates. Raph went to the table setting his plate down and crawling into the chair sitting on his knees as father grabbed Raph and himself utensils.

"Thanks for the food Mikey," Raph said, before quickly digging in not trying to look at anyone.

"No prob Raphie-boy, here Don, and Leo," Mikey replied, humming again like he had been earlier which seemed to ease some of the tension.

"Thanks," Leo said and grabbed our plates, I smiled to Mikey who nodded and continued his humming as Raph ate in almost complete silence.

"Here you are my son, some milk," Father said, placing a glass of milk before Raph who smile.

"Thanks, Daddy!" he chimed before chugging half the glass before going back to his breakfast.

He seemed like he was stuck in time, his body language was much more guarded just like ten years ago. He was a lot less twitchy and paranoid but still as reserved. I remember him always sitting out on games and watching us from afar most of the time after he returned. It wasn't until we were around ten or eleven he became the person he was at our current age. But I never really knew what caused the change, all I know is that afterwards his good relationship with Leo disappeared leaving mostly anger behind.

"Hehehe wow you ate fast Raphie." Mikey chimed Raph smiled at him nodding.

"Aww done, umm… Don, I can't reach the sink?" he stated I stood up and grabbed his plate and glass setting them in the sink. "Thank you, sorry…"

"No need to apologize" I soothed, he turned to Leo with big amber eyes.

"Sorry Weo, I should have wistened to you." He apologized, Leo looked at him in shock before reaching over to pat his head.

"It's alright, none of this is your fault, just be more careful from now on." Leo soothed, I could tell how happy he was that Raph was speaking to him.

"I promise, so what are we going to do?" he asked, we all looked at each other like someone had the answer.

"Well if the Foot did this, then it must be a plan by Karai, but why would she do this, we don't even know if this was intentional. It could have been meant to be a poison, but it just reacted differently with our mutagen filled DNA." I mused, Mikey and Leo nodded.

"Or maybe this was her plan, she does seem to have an odd moral code, maybe she believes in turning us into children will keep her from having to kill us," Leo added grimly.

"Wait, if she turns you guys into kids too that means.. that I'ww never be back to my old self." Raph whimpered, he stood up on his chair his eyes turning that familiar harshness. "Stupid bitch, I'ww show her what a kid can do if she traps me in this form."

"Raphael language." Father chided as Raph sighed.

"Sorry, it's just, I refuse to be stuck wike this, I'm awmost an aduwt I'm not going back to this age," Raph growled as Mikey went over and patted his head.

"Don't be so mellow-dramatic Raphie, Don will be able to fix you." Mikey soothed I frowned at the burden before me.

"I will try my best, but with our mutations… I'll need to talk with Leatherhead, together we should be able to come up with a solution." I muttered Raph looked at me sadly.

"Don't get too stressed, I can handle this body for as wong as I need to." He soothed I smiled at his comforting lie.

"Guys!" April called, Raph froze and instantly hide under the table as April and Casey burst into the lair.

"April what's going on?" Leo called racing to meet them, so they wouldn't see Raph.

"It's the foot, Karai sent us a message, told us that she was demanding you guys leave the city to tend Raph. What did she mean!? Is Raphael okay!?" April rambled, Casey was gripping his bat angrily.

"Yeah, if anyone's hurt my best bud then they're going to face my wrath!" Casey hissed.

Raph peeked out from under the table grabbing onto my ankle, I knelt down as he tugged on my ankle. He looked to April and Casey from his hiding spot, once he recognized them he pointed for me to lean down. I did, and he leaned his face up to the side of my head.

"They're pretty worried, I think we'ww have to teww them. We can't hide it anymore, not when I'm wike this." He whispered, I nodded and picked him up as Leo tried to calm them down. "I'm fine guys."

April and Casey looked at him in shock and Leo looked at Raph in shock too who was clearly putting on a brave his face as he held onto me. His small frame was trying it's hardest not to shake visibly or simply break down. Casey walked up to us in confusion, which made Raph pulled back which made Casey stop and April look on in shock.

"Please just don't come too cwose… I'm sorry… Aww of this is kind of a big story…" he stated, April went to Casey side looking at Raph full of pity.

"What happened?" April pleaded Leo, looked to us for confirmation to which Raph nodded.

"We have something to tell you both…" Leo stated this was going to be a long day.


	2. The Explanation

TMNT: Cherry Blossoms of Life

Ch.2~ The Explanation

The guys had sat us all down, Raph sat the farthest away, sitting with Master Splinter clinging to him like the small child he appeared to be. His limbs we are fully bandaged, hinting that he was very seriously hurt. Along with that, he seemed almost scared of Casey and myself. What could have made him that scared?

"Well let's start with the obvious, Raph was out last night and was attacked by the Foot who injected him with something now he's returned to frame and partial mental state of his six-year-old self," Leo explained, I frowned.

"Were they the ones who hurt him?" I asked, Raph seemed offended and stepped forward.

"Heww no! I mean.. I had these injuries when I was six, for some reason the owd scars reopened." Raph answered I could see his normal domineer fighting with this meeker child version.

"Yes, umm we never told you guys this, mostly because we don't really talk about it. But Raph has had PTSD since he was a small child, and it was all caused when Raph disappeared for a year. H-he was held captive by a psychotic human and when we were kids he was terrified of humans. Those scars that reopened were made by that man when Raph escaped. So, until we get him fixed he will probably stray pretty far from you guys, and be very unlike himself." Leo explained, I felt tears well up in my eyes and Raph looked to us worriedly.

"Who did that to him?" Casey hissed, I moved to calm him but I saw Raph walk over.

"Don't worry Casey, he's not stiww around, he died, or better yet I kiwwed him almost ten years ago. He's gone, he can never hurt anyone ever again." He stated his small fists clenched.

"Fuck…" Casey muttered slumping in his chair.

"I ain't wookin' for sympathy!" He yelled, I saw him looking at me angrily looking much like his normal self and he stepped closer. "I did it because he was a monster, if he were stiww awive, you wouwdn't be."

"What do you mean?" I said, he looked at me sadly.

"He wiked kiwwing red-heads like you." He muttered, I saw tears welling his eyes. "Heh, you wook wike them, it's funny I never noticed it before now."

"Raphael come back and remember your exercises." Splinter called, he looked at me a moment before closing his eyes and breathing in a pattern walking back to Splinter.

"I'm fine Daddy…" he lied, I could tell that telling me that had broken his fragile line of control.

"Well if Karai is doing this stuff and out for you, shouldn't we leave. I mean what if she attacks the lair again?" I stated, Casey nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I mean no offence guys but right now yer a turtle down, and I think Karai has some fucked up plan," Casey added, Splinter seemed deep and thought as they guys looked to him.

"They're right Daddy, Weo and I are the strongest, and she knows it," Raph stated, his small fists clenched.

"I know, I worry if she will follow us out of the city, I do not wish to make us a target." Splinter said Raph nodded.

"I guess, stiww we can't just stay here can we, she wants our shewws on a siwver pwatter, and whatever her plan is… We can't wet her keep doing this, what if she plans to turn us aww into this! We can't wet her do that, then we'ww be hewpwess!" Raph argued I was surprised he was so eager to fight.

"Raphael, we do not know what her plans are, she could've meant to kill you, not turn you into this." Splinter replied Raph stomped his foot.

"No, she meant this, her ninjas had me to the ground, they couwda just kiwwed me, but they didn't," Raph stated Leo let out a sigh.

"I have to agree with Raph father, it seems like this may have been intentional and either way we have more a chance outside the city. The Foot can roam the city easily, they can't do that in the countryside." Leo added Splinter sighed.

"You are right, but we must leave during the day, we are less likely to be tracked." Splinter sighed, Raph looked to us wearily.

He grabbed Splinter's robe sleeve, he leaned over and Raph clearly was whispering to him. He nodded and picked up Raph setting him on his lap and beckoning over Leo. Leo leaned over and was whispered to by Splinter who was wrapping Raph in his robes. Leo pulled away and raced, I was a bit confused until Leo returned with his mask and a blanket.

"Here bro, this better." Leo soothed, he wrapped Raph in the blanket.

"Uhuh…" Raph muttered, slipping back on his mask retying it to fit his smaller head.

"Me and Ape will go do some shopping and collect some stuff we'll be back in two hours, you guys be ready to head out," Casey stated, we all nodded and I let Casey lead me into the elevator.

Once it sealed shut I sighed, "I always figured something bad happened to Raphael." I muttered.

"Yeah me too, he always was so angry, like he had a vendetta against tha whole world," Casey added I nodded as we entered the garage above and walked out to our car.

"I wonder what that man did to him..?" I mumbled as Casey started the car and we drove off.

(Raph's POV)

I had a bag packed, Daddy and I had searched through our old things, I packed an old Gameboy and games, my old stuffed rabbit and soft red blanket. Now I was dressed in my old gear and even my old mask, I was currently staring at myself in a mirror. I looked so wrong, here I was about four feet, my arms and legs covered in gauze bandages. This was an image I hope to never see again.

'We have to be careful…' a voice quipped I turned to look an old imaginary friend.

"I've wong outgrown you, I don't need you," I muttered, he didn't fade and I could practically feel him grab my hand.

'I wouldn't be here if you didn't need me, you know that.' He stated I sighed.

"Renoir, I don't know how to handwe this, it's been over ten years, wooking wike this is… It brings back too many memories…" I explained, he nodded standing in front of me.

'You're still you, both of these personalities are you, didn't you hate the spiteful person you grew to be. Think of this as a chance to change yourself.' Renoir comforted, I looked at the mirror seeing my older version with red eyes.

"I did hate being wike that, I hated being so angry, I hate the eviw in me wike I could turn into him. That I would turn into Osvawdo and be just as eviw as him and the Shredder. Maybe this can be a fresh start." I rambled, Renoir nodded as I heard footsteps approach and he disappeared.

"It's almost time to go, ready to go bro?" Don asked, I nodded and picked up my bag walking over to him.

"Yeah, wet's go," I replied he lead me downstairs where everyone had gathered.

Looking at April and Casey I felt the need to hide and protect, shaking it off I walked toward them head down. I need to get over this fear, I need to remember Casey isn't Oz and April isn't one of Oz's victims, Casey is my best friend. Looking up at them I forced a smile which made Casey grin back goofily, which made my smile turn more genuine.

"Looking all decked out there bud, full head mask, and smaller gear," Casey commented, I chuckled.

"Yep, I'm aww kidded out, man it's been a whiwe since I sported this look." I laughed, he seemed to cheer up laughing with me.

"Nice, hehe!" he chuckled, I felt Daddy place a hand on my shoulder.

"Let us head out before we lose daylight." Splinter urged everyone else grabbed bags as we piled into the elevator and then into the van, father, myself and my brothers piling into the trailer hooked to their old car.

"Hey Raphie come sit with me and let's play this game together, you know how bad I am at Zelda puzzles." Mikey chimed, I nodded and raced to his side.

"Hehehe, you're terribwe Mikey, wet me hewp." I cheered, soon we were both engrossed in the game me helping him with the puzzles in dungeons and encouraging him to do fun stuff out in the vast landscapes.

(Leo's POV)

It's been about three hours and Mikey and Raph had been playing a game together eagerly. But Raph was looking tired now leaning into Mikey commenting less and less. Mikey took notice and pointed at him a grin on his face. Raph soon closed his eyes and began to snore softly falling asleep, father strolled over and put a blanket over the sleeping boy.

"Seems his stamina has run out," Father commented, I nodded and father walked back to his spot groaning as he eased himself down. "I think I shall follow his lead, my old body needs rest."

We all looked at each other worriedly then at father, we had talked about father growing old, and we meant old. Death would come for our father soon, and we all had tried to deny it till we spoke. We all slowly in a way understood that we could not prolong our father's life. None of us were eager to see him slowly die, now that Raph was partially returned to a childlike state, how would he accept it if Father were to die.

"What will we do if..?" Mikey questioned, I sighed looking down.

"Let's not think about it right now, I'm sure father will be fine until we get Raph sorted," Don answered I sighed.

"He's been getting worse, we've all seen it that's why we had that talk not too long ago?" Mikey insisted.

"I know, but Mikey we need to have hope in father's good health, we know if he dies what could happen…" Don stated, I sighed and pulled him close. "Our father is strong, he will survive. If he doesn't we will have a large plate on our hands…"

"Raph couldn't handle it, not now, he could barely handle it we were teens," I stated, they looked down sadly.

Don reached and grabbed my hand, "We have to have hope, I refuse to let what happened there, happen here in any way shape or form." Don muttered Mikey and I bit our lips, that talk of this other world he visited was traumatizing to him.

"Bro remember, even if Dad dies, the Shredder is gone, he can't take over the world." Mikey reminded as I put an arm over Don's shoulders.

"Don, we will be okay, even if that does happen, we can hold it together, we can help Raph, he will more likely accept our help now then if he was still a teen." I soothed, he nodded and leaned into me sniffling.

"I know, I just, look at him, you remember what he was like back then…" he stated, I nodded looking at a sleeping Raph.

"We have to keep him from getting closed off again, and we need to make sure he knows we're here for him," I affirmed, Mikey nodded as Don did too.


	3. Past and Present

TMNT: Cherry Blossoms of Life

Ch.3~ Past and Present

I raced around the farmhouse, something about being here like this made me feel a sort of giddy and full of a sort of childlike wonder. Everything felt new, even though I had been to the farmhouse before, I was looking at in a new way. The woods reminded me of freedom I never got to have of adventure and exploration. The child side of me was in full wonder and wanted nothing more than to run around in excitement.

'Come on we can play; you want to start fresh right?' Renoir said, I looked at him and nodded.

Quickly I tore around the yard cartwheeling and flipping around the entire yard around the house. Till I found a low hanging thick branch jumping up I climbed up it to survey the scenery, finally, I got my eye on Daddy. He was looking at me fondly, but he also looked off like he was extremely tired. Soon I saw Mikey racing over to me, he flipped onto the branch looking at me with a big grin.

"Having fun bro?" he asked, I nodded and looked around.

"Mikey maybe this can be my fresh start." I stated, he looked at me confused. "I hated who I became, I was awways angry, I was bitter against the worwd that I felt wronged me. This time I want to change, I want to grow up and be more wike I used to be."

"So, you don't want to be fixed?" Mikey stated, I looked around awkward shifting knowing how selfish my truthful answer was.

"Yes, but I know we need me back in fighting action, I just, maybe being back wike this will hewp me change even if I don't have the wongest time to change," I replied, he patted my head and I looked up at him.

"Bro, at this point we don't know if we can ever fix you, you have time. Besides I doubt we would make you change back if you didn't want to, I mean after all that happened you do deserve a second shot at this. Last time none of us were prepared or handled your trauma well, we isolated you and snapped at you. But this time things will be different, maybe this time we can finally work through all that happened to you and help you move on. I know that's one thing you never did, even after all those years."

"Was I that obvious?" I muttered; he patted my head again this time gently stroking my bandana.

"A bit, but you went through a lot in that year, and we didn't help things. This time we can, we want to, even Leo, will you think about giving us a chance?" he asked I nodded eagerly.

"Yes, I want to be better, I want to make amends with Weo…" I confessed he scooped me up hopping out of the tree.

"No time like the present to start, also Don wanted me to stop you, no need to strain your wounds." He teased, I nodded leaning into his chest.

"I was so caught up in my excitement, I barely noticed the pain," I grumbled as I began to feel the dull ache of my hurt body.

"You seemed to be having fun, my son," Father stated as we entered the farmhouse.

"Yep!" I chimed as Mikey set me down Casey walked in filling the fireplace with wood.

"Don't run around too much, you don't want to make your wounds open up more." Don lectured I nodded looking around Leo entered with another arm full of cut-up wood.

"How are feeling?" Leo asked I shifted awkwardly, I wanted to have a fresh start with him the most.

"I'm okay, it's kinda weird, aww I want to do is run around the yard and pway." I answered he smiled setting down the wood.

"That's good, once you're healed up, you'll have tons of space to play here." He replied which made me nod.

"Yeah, hopefuwwy I heaw soon, I'd wove to pway with you guys, wike ninja tag or something." I chimed, he smiled fondly and walked over kneeling to pat my head.

"I'd love that, just don't strain yourself until you heal up." He reminded I nodded as he continued to pat my head.

"I won't, just I have so much energy and it feews so much bigger here!" I yelled Leo chuckled as Mikey picked me up and spun me.

"No worries Raphie-boy that's what I'm here for, I will keep up with all your adventures and make sure you don't strain yourself. That sound good Leo?" Mikey cheered, Leo nodded as Casey lite the fire and looked at the woodpile.

"This should do fer tonight," Casey commented, Leo nodded and sat on the couch with Don as father rested in his chair on the other side of the room.

"Daddy, can I sit with you?" I asked, he nodded, and I quickly raced to his side and he helped me into his lap.

"You look so cute Raph." April complimented, I turned to see her exit the kitchen blushing. "Any requests, me and Casey are going to head into town for food."

"Pizza." Mikey chimed she chuckled and nodded.

"Tea." Father requested she nodded with a smile.

"Chocolate miwk!" I chimed, she seemed surprised before walking over to pat my head.

"I'll get you a treat too, I'll stop and get more bandages and peroxide for your wounds." She stated, I huffed.

"The treats because your gonna cover me in peroxide, right?" I whined, she nodded and kissed the top of my head.

"It's for your own good, I'll make sure to get you a special treat." She soothed, her and Casey walked out with a final wave.

I leaned back into father turning to my side to hug him and hold his robes. Burying my face into his chest I listened to the slow beating of his heart. Closing my eyes, I wanted to fall asleep against him, he put an arm around me rubbing my arm.

"It is alright now, you can sleep." Father hushed, I smiled and let myself fall asleep in his arms.

(Leo's POV)

Raph twitched in his sleep lightly snoring unlike he did at our current age; it was so soft you could barely hear it. We all looked at each other as he slept, father was dotting over him. He was soothing each of his twitches and whimper in between snores. I remember waking up one night to witness a sight similar to this.

After he had returned, he and I began to share a bed again and he always slept holding my hand. I awoke and not feeling his hand in mine made me leave the room to investigate. When I left the room, I saw him in father's arms falling asleep while also crying and whimpering. I had dealt with his nightmares myself; he always cried and need to be held close. A part of me felt betrayed that he hadn't gone to me.

Pulling myself from my memory I felt Don lean against me, we remember when he left home all those years ago.

(Flashback)

I rubbed my sleep-filled eyes and gazed beside me in bed, it was empty. That's funny Raph never gets up before me, he should still be sleeping, unless he had to go pee. Hopping out of bed I turned back again to check for Raph, I still saw nothing.

I opened up the door to search for him, hopping down the stairs I enter the main living/kitchen area. Turning towards the bathroom, I notice the door is wide open, walking over I peek inside. There's nobody in here, where could he be, could he have actually woken up before me.

"Ah, Leonardo you're awake, what are you looking for my son?" Splinter greeted, I turned to him and bowed.

"Sensei have you seen Raph, he wasn't in bed when I woke up and he isn't in the bathroom either," I asked, Splinter looked at me in a bit of shock.

"No, I haven't seen him, was he there when you went to bed Leonardo?"

"Uhuh, I wonder where he could be, I bet he's playing a joke on me and hiding somewhere. But I'll find him, wherever he went. Oh, maybe he hid under the bed."

I ran up the stairs, I slide into me and Raph's room, dropping down I peered under the bed. There was nothing down there, besides a piece a paper. Reaching under I grabbed the paper, I looked at the blocky letters. This was definitely Raph's writing.

I began to read the text 'Dear Leo, I went out exploring don't tell Splinter if you wake up at night and notice me gone, I should be back way before you wake up. Signed Raph.' That idiot, he's probably hurt out in the sewers, now I'm gonna have to go find him. Walking back downstairs I ran up to Splinter note in hand.

"Sensei Raph snuck out to go exploring he left me this note, do you want me to go search for him," I said, handing Splinter the note I found.

"Yes, please search quickly around the lair for your brother, if you do not find him come back and I'll search for him farther away." Splinter said, nodding I ran out the front door.

"Raph! Where are you? " I called, the water splashing as I ran through it.

I stopped at the limit I thought Splinter would want me to go and began to circle around the liar. My heart sped up with every empty tunnel I found, please don't be hurt somewhere far away from us. If he is, I will never forgive him, how can he be so stupid?!

"Raph you are so annoying, why can't you tell me this kind of stuff!?" I growled.

(End Flashback)

It had been a horrible morning, we all found it hard to deal with the pain of it all. We didn't want to admit our brother; our friend could be dead. All of us were in denial of what had happened and held onto that small hope that he would return.

(Flashback)

I heard my door creak open, turning to the door I saw Mikey and Don in the doorway. They both had their soft fleece blankets in hand, they look on the verge of tears. Walking up to me they look at me with sad eyes, I patted beside me, they climbed onto the bed next to me.

"Is Daddy giving up on Raphie?" Mikey asked I looked at him sadly.

"I think he has; I don't blame him; it's been two months since Raph disappeared. He probably doesn't want us to be upset if Raph is actually dead." I replied.

"But Leo, he's not dead is he, Raph's too stubborn to die. He'll come back, he's too strong to let himself die." Don cried.

"I know how you feel, I don't think Raphie is dead either, but if he is still out there, I highly doubt he's in good shape. Since Splinter isn't going to search for Raph anymore I will, every day I'll search for him, pretending to go on a walk." I soothed.

"Are you gonna find him for us Leo, you gonna bring him back home so he can play with us again?!" Mikey cheered.

"Of course, I will, I promise I'll find him, wherever that idiot went." I stated.

"Can we stay here?" Don asked, Mikey nodded in agreeance.

"Of course..." I said, letting a sad smile slip onto my face.

(End Flashback)

We held onto that hope especially me, I had begun to ritually search the sewers for him. I didn't care if he never showed it was my way of honouring him. I needed to do this so that I knew I wasn't failing him by not finding him. It was as much in hope as it was to soothe myself since father had seemed to give up.

(Flashback)

I walked down the tunnel, like I did every morning since Raph disappeared, it was out of habit now. I would just roam the tunnels only heading back home in time for morning training. Looking at the water I saw it was red in places, I began to run down the tunnel what was going on.

Then I saw him, it was Raphael. His emerald-green skin stained with blood; his red mask torn in places. Tears fell down my cheeks as I ran to his side, please tell me he's alive. I touched his neck to check for a pulse. I felt his pulse beating like it should be, I began to sob, my brother was finally back, after a year he was finally home.

Slowly I picked him up in my arms making the treck back home to show him to father. Whoever brought my brother back home, was a true saint? I thought I would never see his face again. Nuzzling his cheek, I kissed his forehead. I'll protect you, little brother, no matter what, I'll protect you.


	4. To The River

TMNT: Cherry Blossoms of Life

Ch.4~ To The River

After a few days, I was pumped to be approved to go on a forest walk with Daddy. I wanted to run through the trees and see all the nature with him. I wanted to run around; I had even woken up early for that exact reason. I sat in bed giggling as I looked at father as he meditated, I couldn't hold myself back anymore.

"Morning Daddy!" I cheered, I hugged him from behind.

"You seem energetic my son." He replied he was speaking a little slower than normal

"I was wondering if we couwd head out for our forest wawk now?" I asked, he chuckled and rose to his feet taking me up with him.

"Who am I to discourage early morning activity, my son." He replied I chuckled as I took his hand.

"There is so much woods here Daddy, maybe we can find some new pwants or animaws." I rambled, he chuckled as he led me downstairs and onto the porch.

"Morning sensei, oh morning Raph, you two gonna head out this early?" Leo asked I nodded.

"Yes, I think the early morning is the best time to take a stroll through the nature around us," Father replied, Leo bowed as Daddy and I headed to the forest, I took one last glance back to see him begin katas again.

"Daddy I wonder what coow things we wiww see, I awways wanted to spend more time out here under the sun." I chimed, letting go of his hand I did a few cartwheels. "Why are there so many songs about rainbows, and what's on the other side? Rainbows are vision, but onwy iwwusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide. So, we've been towd and some choose to bewieve it. I know they're wrong wait and see. Someday we'ww find it the rainbow connection. The wovers, the dreamers and me."

"Now I have not heard you sing that song in many years, my son, I remember how many times you would watch that movie and sing with the frog on the log," Father replied, I blushed I had forgotten how much I had loved that film.

"Who said that wishes wouwd be heard and answered when wished on the Morningstar? Someone thought of that and someone bewieved it. Wook what it's done so far. What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing and what do you think we might see? Someday we'ww find it, the rainbow connection. The wovers, the dreamers and me. All of us under its speww. We know that it's probabwy magic. Have you been half asweep and have you heard voices? I've heard them cawwing my name. Is this the sweet sound that cawws the young saiwors. The voice may be one and the same. I've heard it too many times to ignore it. It's something that I'm supposed to be. Someday we'ww find it the rainbow connection, the wovers, the dreamers and me." I sang sitting down on a log.

"That it is a nice song, but do you remember the lullaby I used to sing to you." He asked, I hopped off the log and began to hum the tune.

"Nenen korori yo, Okororiyo. Boya way oi ko da, Nenne-shina. Boya no omori wa, Doko e itta? Ano yama koete, Sato e itta. Sato no miyage ni, Nani morotta? Denden taiko ni, Sho no fue." I sung. "There was another one wasn't there? Uhmm… Mori mo iyagaru, Bon kara saki-nya. Yuki mo chiratsuku-shi, Ko mo naku-shi. Bon ga kita-tote, Nani ureshi-karo. Katabira wa nashi, Obi wa nashi. Konno ko you naku, Mori wo ba ijiru. Mori mo ichi-nichi, Yaseru-yara. Hayo-mo yuki-taya, Kono zaisho koete. Mukou ni mieru wa, oya no uchi. Mukou ni mieru wa, oya no uchi."

"I am surprised you remember both of those my son." He complimented.

"Thanks, Daddy, I aways did wove to hear those songs, before this happened, I used to sing them when I ran off mad. They hewped me cawm down." I replied I head my head low, I had been a fool.

"I am proud of how you have matured over the years." He commented, I turned to him in surprise.

"M-me, but Daddy I was just a hothead, I never changed," I replied, he reached over to rub my head.

"You have to trust me, my son, after all, you have been through, I'm so surprised by how you have grown, even now you make me a proud father." He soothed.

"Weww you are the best Daddy, come on wet's see what I can see maybe I can find a river?"

"A river, that sounds relaxing."

"Uhuh you can meditate, and I can go for a swim, been so wong since I swam."

"I remember you would try to swim in the bath."

"I did, hehe, water is cawming, and I wike to swim, kinda nice."

"Enjoy the wilderness, it is a great place for healing."

"Heawing, I guess so, I don't think of the bad stuff out here…"

"If you ever need to talk you know we are all here for you my son."

"I know, this time I am gonna heaw right, I am gonna make a better future."

"You are loyal to a fault sometimes my son."

"Woyaw to a fauwt?"

"I am proud to see you grow more, but I do not want you to think your past self was horrible. It was still you my son, all of us in life are students always learning. You are only finding your hidden potential; this was always in you my son."

"Thanks, Daddy."

"Ah I can smell the stream; seems we are close."

"Reawwy?!"

I grinned and raced off ahead and entered a clearing seeing the river, I was here. Giggling I raced and jumped into the stream swimming and diving, made life seem so much better. Guess I really am part turtle, heh, that's silly, I am a turtle. Popping up I looked up onto the banks I saw Daddy kneeling with his staff in hand as he seemed to be breathing hard.

"Daddy?" I questioned, climbing out of the river I went to his side.

"I.. am fine… Just out of breath…" he soothed patting my head.

(Flashback)

"Raph you gotta calm down!" Leo yelled.

"No! Fuck all of you, thinking that Master is gonna die! He is so much stronger than that!" I screamed; I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"That is not what we are saying Raph, he strong, this is about age…" Don argued.

"He ain't that old!" I hissed.

"Raphie you know Donnie is right with science stuff, I don't wanna hear it either," Mikey admitted tearing up.

"I will nurse him, I will… Dad can't die… He just can't…" I sobbed.

(End Flashback)

Tears filled my eyes, I quickly turned and raced back to the farmhouse, I need to get Don. Daddy can't die, I will nurse him, Daddy can't leave before I show him who I can truly be. I've caused this family nothing but heartache, I want to make Daddy proud, I will show him. Through my tears, I could see Leo's silhouette.

"Weo!" I screamed, he turned, and I saw Don in front of him blushing.

"Raph, what's wrong?" Leo asked a bit flushed.

"You two can make-out water, Daddy is finding it hard to breathe!" I ordered, grabbing them I dragged them back to Dad.

On our way there I stopped as I saw him collapse on the forest floor. No, why didn't he stay? Letting go of them I went and tried to help Daddy up. But soon I felt him being lifted up by bigger arms, I looked down at my hands. I am so weak; I need a safe place.

'See you needed me.' A voice chimed; I saw Renoir leaning against a tree. 'You need to talk.'

"Not now!" I screamed, I raced to the tree and punched it. "Daddy needs me… Forget about me…"

"Raph!" Leo yelled I turned to see him walking over to me.

"Weo, I am okay I just…" I began, he scooped me up and began to walk, I couldn't see Don or Daddy.

"You zoned out for a while there, little brother," Leo stated, I blushed and buried my face in his plastron.

"I am okay, just hewp Don with Daddy…" I muttered.

"And bring you in there only to have another episode, you need to talk and get back control, you remember your exercises." He soothed.

"I don't wanna wose Daddy I never got to show him aww I couwd be… I can't even nurse him anymore if I am so woyal how did I not keep my promises…"

"Raph it's not your fault Karai did this to you, besides, as much as it hurts, it is his time. He would want to go with peace of mind."

"What do you mean?!"

"I want to show Father that we will be okay, Raph I know it's hard, but we talked about it. We will finish raising you, we are still family. I want you to tell Father that it's okay to move on. Let him be with his own Master…"

"I… can I have some time to think about it Weo…"

"Of course, now come on."

Leo scooped me up and rocked me, I looked at him confused, then I felt tears slip down my cheeks. Sniffling I leaned into him and began to cry softly. He patted my shell and hushed me, usually, I would fight off these feelings, but I couldn't. No, I needed to deal with this pain, no more hiding, I will become the best me I can. For you Daddy.

(Leo's POV)

I startled to a rise, turning I saw Raph scream as father lay on the ground clutching his chest. Oh god, I raced to Father's aide and soon I saw Don in front of us. He motioned me to let him down, I nodded, and he began CPR. I grabbed Raph and pulled him over and hide him against my plastron.

"Ah, thank you…" Father muttered his eyes closing.

"Is he?" I asked Don shook his head.

"No, he passed out, I assume this was a heart attack…" Don answered, I nodded as he picked up Father laying him down in a bed. "I need to wake up April to fetch some supplies."

"Okay."

"Wemmie go!" Raph cried.

"Raph, calm down, Father will be fine."

"Leo..nard..o" Father wheezed, I got up and went to his side.

"I am here, Father." I soothed.

"Me too Daddy!" Raph called.

"My sons, Leo..nard..o please I.. ask that you k..eep our c..lan to..geth..er, help raise Raph..ael to his po..ten..tial." He stated, I nodded and Raph fought in my arms.

"No Daddy! Donnie wiww fix you, I want you to see me grow!" he cried, I hugged him closer.

"I will father, we will raise him… I swear on my honour" I promised.

"You.. and Dona..tello have my bless..ing… I love you…"

"Thank you, Father, we will make you proud."

"Love you.. my sons…"

(Raph's POV)

I went straight as a board before I lost the world, looking I saw HIM standing there looking down at me with a kind look. I stepped back but hit something, looking up I saw a multitude of hanging woman. Turning I saw his face directly in mine his eyes flames and his smile turned cruel. I looked down and saw blood which was followed by that pain.

I came back to reality and looked up to see Don looking at me, tears in his eyes. I reached up with a trembling hand which he grabbed, I turned to see Mikey being comforted by Leo. So, Daddy really did die, I picked at my arm but felt Don pull me into a hug.

"I was worried you were gone for so long, it's okay now Raphie you can cry now." He hushed, I gripped onto his shoulder strap.


End file.
